so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
