Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
