My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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