Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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