tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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