We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
