Cold hands, warm shart.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
