I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
