Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
