yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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