P.S. I can't hear my feet
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
