Umm I'm too high to move.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
