she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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