We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
