He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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