Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
