omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
