he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
