Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Oh god it's open bar.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
