Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
