my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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