I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
