Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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