woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
My liver just had a heart attack.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
