I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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