You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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