maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
