Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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