Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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