Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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