do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
