Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
