this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
