i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
