you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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