Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
