why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
