better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
