She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
