thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
