Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
