is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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