She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
