yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
