Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
