I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
