i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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