I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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