i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
My brain says no but my pants say off.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i came on her dog
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
