Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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