So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
