Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Randomize
