i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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