Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
